June 1, 2012
Last Tuesday I asked the people of Sedalia and Pettis County to send me their strangest, most bizarre and most unbelievable tales. I also asked for their opinions in general — and let me tell you, I got both of those things and everything in between.
You can probably tell by that smell in the air that it’s time once again for me to dump out the mailbox.
There was one who had some concerns to express about the newly approved Pettis County Ambulance District, and another who had something to say about the Scott Joplin mural but one had a specific mission for me.
“I want to know why our society professes to love children and care about them,” wrote Jane Twenter of Pilot Grove, who put four ellipses between that sentence and this one, “Yet it is perfectly legal to kill these children through abortion and mothers are led to believe they are doing the right thing.”
Ohh, uhh, yeah ... about that ...
“Also, the Humane Society would not tolerate this if it were used on animals. However, when it is a child, it is considered the ‘right’ thing to do,” Twenter continued, “Do you have the courage to address this issue?”
Uh, not really. I think you have the wrong guy here. Besides, that’s just standard Letters to the Editor fare. I was a little for something a little further out there.
And I got it.
Now I’m fully aware that this responder might just be messing with me, but at least they took the time to drop me a line. The storyteller, who preferred to remain anonymous, attached this disclaimer:
“I have a story that may be of some interest to you and whether or not you find it fictional is purely your judgment, but I ensure you this story is not the result of some drug-induced vision or even a natural phenomenon, what me and two people witnessed one night on Cherry Tree Lane will forever and always stand out in my mind. This is a two-fold story making it much more difficult to believe, but again I assure you these are my eye-witness accounts, take them as you want.”
On that night they would experience in both a terrestrial and an extraterrestrial sort of way:
“One dark stormy night in 2008, two friends and I decided to embark on our typical back road antics and roam the gravel roads, drifting corners and participating in all around goonish activities. As we drove down Cherry Tree Lane, we suddenly spotted lights in the distance”
Look, I don’t know what’s so mysterious about another vehicle.
“Me, being super paranoid, found this to be interesting considering that it was around 2 in the morning.” Yeah, nobody drives their car on Cherry Tree Lane at that hour of the night.
“There was lightning in the air and rain was being dumped in buckets. Through the dimly lit road we noticed three pillars of light.”
Now it’s getting good.
“I immediately hit the brakes began to retreat down the second gravel road as it was still approximately 100 to 200 yards away from the lights. Thinking it was some sort of cop trap or maybe even a crash or storm watchers, I was not ready to face it. I began to turn when from the back seat my friend said, ‘Stop.’ I stopped and as we looked at the lights we could see that they were not cop lights or even lights of any crash or any storm watchers. There were three circles of light hovering vertically above one another approximately 12 feet above the road. As we watched in awe, the lights slowly started to fade. They disappeared, but not a sudden disappearance, it was almost as if they left in a way that was not natural, if that makes sense. They didn’t fade away, they didn’t flick off like a light switch, but the only way I can explain how the lights left is to say that I felt time and space itself had been changed in the path or way in which they were leaving. We were watching them then just noticed they were gone. No one said anything. The lights were now gone and the road we had stopped on now became the new path.”
I had heard all of the standard dark stories about Cherry Tree Lane before: They mostly featured ghosts, ghouls and bands of people that practiced a non-traditional religion who liked having bonfires and visiting with weary travelers. But that’s the first UFO story I had ever heard about the strangest little lane in Pettis County. Clearly we have paved right over some sort of supernatural vortex. Maybe it’s a burial ground, or there’s been a curse laid upon the land.
But you might need a little more convincing — our informant isn’t quite done:
“Now to the second part of the story which to this day still haunts me, but again is true.”
Hey, I’m here to listen.
“As we began our journey down the gravel road, we were discussing what we had just witnessed and were trying to come up with some explanation when again something appeared in the road ahead of us. It was a woman — brown hair, dark clothes, rain-drenched. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, or at least that’s how it appeared, but still we had not quite reached the spot she stood. As we got within a distance of 100 yards she stood still.”
At this point in the story he uses the collective state of the group’s pants as a means to express how scared they really were.
“We had just witnessed some alien-like lights and now a woman on a road that has only one house which she was no where near was now standing in the middle of the road in the rain at 2 a.m. I stopped my truck lights which were pointed at her. She suddenly bolted into the field traveling west into the wooded area of the road. At this point we hauled (our hind ends) back to my house.”
Clearly, a kindly young lady who was being initiated into the congregation of those nice representatives of that alternative religion, or maybe the rabid human hostage wife of the Beaman Monster. Maybe just a standard ghost, or an athlete on too much or too little medication. Maybe the aliens released some poor test case while she was still disoriented and under the influence of strange alien anesthesiology drugs.
“(We) entertain people with the story from time to time. They all believe we made it up, but I assure you these fantasy-like events were real, take them at face value as I have no proof of either encounters.”
If you know that you saw what you saw, that’s all that matters to me and I would never call one of my readers a liar.
Have you seen anyone or anything strange hanging out in the middle of Cherry Tree Lane, or anywhere else in Pettis County? Tell me about it.