Quinceanera*

José Morales spent two years saving money for his daughter Carmen’s quinceañera — a Latino girl’s 15th birthday party that ushers her into womanhood.

“I’m really happy because she’s grown up. She’s a big girl now,” Morales said in Spanish at Carmen’s party Nov. 10 at the Veterans of Foreign War building.

José Morales and his wife, Josefina, spent about $7,000 on Carmen’s party, and said that they

wished they could have given her even more.

“Well, she wanted more because she was missing her escorts,” her mother said in Spanish. “But I think she was happy.”

“It’s a nice memory. I was happy to have it,” said Selene Ruiz, 16, a classmate of Carmen’s who was particularly excited about seeing Carmen dance the waltz with her father. “I had seven guys do the waltz with me. It’s a once in a lifetime thing. You’ll never have a memory like what you get from your quinceañera.”

For Carmen, the dance with her dad became a goodbye of sorts.

“It was hard when I was dancing with my dad,” Carmen said. “It was the last dance with my father.”

Carmen and her family sent out 100 invitations, and about 250 people showed up to the party. The experience was nerve-racking, Carmen said.

“I told her, ‘You need to calm down or you’re never going to be able to get through the party,’ ” Josefina Morales said.

Even though the budget will determine how elaborate a quinceañera party will be, there are common elements to a traditional party, said Telma Mejia, the owner of Concepcion Bridal & Boutique Inc., on Ohio Avenue in downtown Sedalia.

The day begins with a special Mass for the quinceañera. The quinceañera is “a renewal of baptismal promises and an adolescent recommitment of faith. The quinceañera is a coming-of-age ceremony,” said Father Tom Alber, associate pastor of St. Peter Catholic Church in Marshall.

Alber, who has performed several quinceañera Masses, said the church service differs from a regular mass in that there’s a part where the quinceañera renews her baptismal vows. She says a special prayer to Mary and God.

Following the Mass, family and friends sit down for a dinner honoring the birthday girl. Then the ritual begins.

“The girl always has her dress, the invitations, her crown, her pillows, a doll, a photo album and high heeled shoes. Sometimes the girls have a cape attached to their dresses,” Mejia said in Spanish. “When turning 15, she stops being a child and becomes a young woman.”

The doll the quinceañera is given in the ceremony is as significant as the last dance the girl has with her father, Mejia said.

“That doll every quinceañera gets is the one that she leaves behind,” Mejia explained. “She doesn’t play games anymore.”

Although Carmen’s quinceañera party was traditional, she’s American-born and -raised, and the cultural mix will change the way the party is thrown.

“She was born here, so she has all the Latino traditions and the American ones,” said Dino Barahona, Carmen’s uncle.

Mejia said that cultural differences in the way a quinceañera party is thrown, if it’s thrown, are normal.

“They adopt the culture here. For example, my youngest daughter was born here, and my oldest was born in El Salvador. They both adopted different cultures,” Mejia said. “The one who was born here said, ‘Yeah mom, I want my quinceañera pictures so I can have the memory of my 15th birthday, but I don’t want a party. I want to go out to eat with my friends. I just want a dress and the doll for the portrait. ’ ”

Carmen’s sister, Mayra Morales, opted out of her own quinceañera party and got a car instead.

“This party is chaos for my parents,” Mayra Morales said.

If she could go back, Mayra said she “would have something similar, just not as big.”

Twenty-year-old Mayra doesn’t think her sister will feel like a woman for a while. “It’s just a saying. It’s not a whole big change.”

One party-goer lamented that there was no similar tradition for boys in the Hispanic community.

“If boys could do a quinceañera, I would do it just for the party,” 12-year-old Joseph Macias said.