Parenting tips useful for all

The thought of someone physically harming any child is revolting. That this would happen to an infant just three months old is truly sad, and certainly is an indication that for some, parenting skills are not innate — and unfortunately for too many children and their families –– are not learned.

We carried a news report last week about an infant suffering skull and arm fractures, and the child’s father is accused by police of inflicting the injuries. While many call out for swift and heavy-handed punishment for the accused, we must allow justice to take its proper course first. Primarily, we are hopeful the infant recovers fully and quickly.

Singer Christina Aguilera told Elle UK in 2004: “Whenever I’m writing a song that’s what I’m doing — making a negative a positive and healing myself in the process.”

So we are hopeful that we can turn this negative event into a learning experience, and help families in our community in the process.

Carrie Craft has worked professionally in the field of adoption and foster care since 1996, and is the guide for the adoption/foster care blog on About.com. She offers these tips for parents who feel they are losing control of their emotions:

• Take a time out for yourself. Walk away when feeling the urge to strike out or boil over.

• Don’t pick up or touch your child when you are angry — count to 10 or more.

• Call a friend. Share your frustration.

• Go to a neighbor and ask for reinforcement or a short break.

• Look to your church for help when feeling overwhelmed with parenting.

Craft also offers some more long-term approaches:

• Look into parenting classes.
• Take turns watching the kids so that each parent can have time to begin the rebuilding process in times of crisis.

• See a therapist regarding issues at home, especially if you are having a difficult time walking away from your children when angry or have began to be abusive in any way. Stress and depression can overwhelm the best of parents. Things can’t improve until we are honest with our limitations and seek help.

Parenting is the most important and most labor-intensive job that anyone will ever hold — if they do it the right way. It requires so much more than biology. If you know of a parent who is struggling, who needs help coping with the stresses that come with the job, we implore you to reach out and offer help.

Two minutes of soothing a crying infant can make a world of difference for the child and its family.