Parkhurst: Lack of Sunday dinner leaves life’s plate empty

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, corn and carrots — does anyone have a family Sunday dinner at home anymore?
All the time I was growing up, the Sunday schedule went something like this: The first half of the day was reserved for church; then after church let out, usually around noon, the various families would gather at our house or one of my grandparents’ homes and eat dinner together. We didn’t all go to the same church and were in no particular rotation, but I suppose prearrangements were made during the week.
Oh, another thing — we were all dressed up in our “Sunday best.” The men (and boys) always wore ties and coats and the women wore dresses. If one was going to another’s house, often there would be a fresh-baked pie, cake or yeast rolls packed away in the trunk of the car.
The only other gathering of the families would be on special holidays. It was a time to catch up on what had happened in the previous week. It’s pretty hard to avoid conversation when you are sitting across the table from someone.
Today it seems that the family demographics have changed. I only know of two families that carry on the Sunday tradition in their homes. Not that there is anything wrong with gathering at a restaurant for a Sunday dinner, but it just isn’t the same. For one thing, it is hard to express one’s inner feelings and concerns in a public venue. The other is, who is going to pay the bill?
When entertaining at home, a person can utilize what is on hand and keep leftovers for eating later in the week. If things are particularly tight, a big pot of soup and sandwiches will satisfy everyone.
I think one reason the American family drifted away from this practice is the failure to pass the tradition on to our younger generation. When we did not let our children be the hosts for the event, they felt left out; they did not get the full appreciation of getting together once a week. Soon the day became “just another Sunday dinner at Mom’s” and it became a chore rather than an opportunity to share each other’s lives.
I well remember when my wife and I lived in an apartment and we offered to be the host for Sunday. My mom said, “Oh, honey, you two don’t have enough room for a dinner in your small apartment.” Although she meant no harm, it hurt our feelings and made us feel like we somehow didn’t make the grade to entertain the family properly. Sometime after the grandparents died, the tradition faded into the past and only remerged on major holidays and events. When our boys moved out of town, various friends became our family and many enjoyable dinners were had with our new family of friends.
It is always enjoyable to go to someone else’s home and have a meal; it somehow makes you feel closer, like you know them better. As times went on, the void was soon replaced with spectator sports — basketball-baseball-football and the never ending NASCAR racing events. The meal changed, too; the chicken became “Kentucky Fried” and everything was dipped or picked out of paper buckets and eaten on our laps in the living room in front of the TV. Personal conversations became opinions about a certain team or participants. Things had changed and somehow it didn’t feel right. The dining room table became a place to pile unread magazines, newspapers and such things we shuffle through while drinking coffee in the morning.
Shortly after the boys left home, we remodeled our kitchen by adding on a sun room. The first thing we went shopping for was a large dining room table. We settled for a table that would seat 10.
Last Sunday, which was also St Patrick’s Day, we had eight seats filled plus two babies sitting around piles of corned beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes and green beans. It was a glorious time and it reminded me of the good old days when my family and myself gathered to share not only a meal but what was going on in each other’s lives.
So this Sunday, why don’t you put a roast beef in the oven with some potatoes, onions and carrots before you go to church and sit down with some friends and enjoy.