Stringer: Pickleball? How about competitive eating?

Billed as an “Olympic-style sports festival for Missouri amateur athletes,” the Show-Me State Games kicks off its 25th year anniversary on Friday showcasing a plethora of competitive sports.

With baseball, basketball, football and soccer headlining the list of more than 40 sports included in the statewide multi-sport program, the promotion of sportsmanship, physical fitness, healthy lifestyles and family fun defines the event.

But while these noble qualities read well in a press release, are the games really a diverse collection of sports that showcase the events people would line up to see?

I would argue no.

Not to discredit the event, because clearly the diversity of the games is well represented with synchronized swimming, Frisbee golf, ballroom dancing and mountain biking, but those events are few and far between.

Faced with the option to introduce new sports to the games, the event’s coordinators played it safe and missed a golden opportunity to draw in a larger and more diverse crowd.

Case in point is the recent addition of Pickleball, the self-proclaimed fastest-growing sport in the country. No matter how they spin or advertise it, the sport, basically a mix of pingpong and tennis, screams a lack of originality. If it perhaps involved the chugging of pickle juice or the eating of pickles during game play, the argument would be moot.

But the game’s origins stem from a dog named Pickle who liked to fetch tennis balls, so no pickle is actually involved in the sport.

The Games’ organizers couldn’t put together a compelling argument to back the sport’s inclusion.

“The Show-Me State Games has more than 40 sports, and is always looking for new opportunities to promote health, fitness, family and fun,” Marketing and Media Coordinator Emily Lorenz said. “Pickleball makes a great addition to that list.”

Here’s a list of alternative events that, in my eyes, would suit the Games better.

In an effort to pay homage to picnic festivities, family reunions and elementary school field day events, three-legged races, sack races, egg tosses and even watermelon tossing would all be worthwhile events.

Imagine the camaraderie built between fathers and sons and mothers and daughters tripping over each other to get to the finish line. Or better yet, picture the collection of laughs among the crowd and competitors watching produce slung dozens of feet, only to crack or break at the feet and in the hands of participants while spilling into the stands.

To take it a notch further, why not get the International Federation of Competitive Eating to sponsor the event and promote healthy appetites. A hot dog- or pie-eating contest would draw hundreds of spectators along with media attention. Have you seen the stalwarts of the sport, Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut? They’re both in great shape and possess the endurance, stamina and talent of a well-seasoned athlete.

And if those ideas don’t float your boat, I’ve got others.

Water polo, go-cart races, boxing, kid and adult home run derbies, dog shows, a Show-Me State Idol competition, poker, foosball, air hockey, pool, a milk-chugging contest (which would have to be roped off) and sumo wrestling all come to mind.

Who wouldn’t be drawn into an event with so much diversity and appeal?

The chances are slim of the Games’ coordinators adopting my suggestions in the near future, but with Pickleball and race walking getting the stage, it’s only a matter of time.