The beginning of every New Year brings with it the desire to resolve to change something about ourselves. Most people resolve to lose weight, which is a healthy resolution and one to aspire to. But it is also the standard “go to” resolution. I have given much thought to what my heart truly wants to change or build on and although I can sum it up in one word, the process will be much more challenging.

My resolution for 2020 is to find peace. It’s not “world peace” or “community peace” but inner peace just for me. That may sound a little selfish, but let’s think about it for a minute.

If I establish inner peace, it will reflect through the outer me onto others, which will inevitably create more positive relationships in my life and the lives of others. Inner peace will decrease negativity, thus creating more joy and more meaningful moments that I can store in my treasure box of memories. I want that not only for myself but for those who are closest to me as well.

The question is how will I get there? What will I have to do to gain inner peace? What sacrifices will I have to make? What negative things about myself will I have to face and resolve in order to achieve my goal? How long is it going to take? Who will I turn to for advice? Who will be honest with me about the things that they see in me that might be standing in the way of fulfilling my resolution? What does true inner peace look like? How will I know when I have found it? All I know right now is that I want it. I crave it.

With that in mind, I began by researching “inner peace.” I read several articles that were specific to achieving inner peace and for the most part, they all had the same objectives and suggestions.

One of the articles stood out to me as being more profound than the others and while reading, I found myself thinking, “Yes! Yes, girl! This is on point!” And then, it hit me like a brick. Her words caused my cortisol levels to shoot up and at the same time hit my funny button in a way that made me laugh so hard that I almost cried. These words were, “If all of this makes sense to you, try my ‘flower essence’ by clicking here.”

Flower essence? This woman thinks that ingesting a drop of her flower essence every day will somehow bring me inner peace? Are you laughing yet? I had to entertain myself so I “clicked here” and saw the yellow tulips that she uses in her magical blend. Don’t get me wrong, they were pretty. I love yellow tulips, but I’m not willing to eat them to achieve inner peace. Sorry, lady.

I did find some things that made sense to me that I am going to work on. This will be a lifelong journey, much like maintaining a healthy weight. I found meditation, emotional release, recognizing and changing negative thinking and talk, forgiveness, spending more time in nature and becoming truly grateful for all of the things in my life, good and bad.

The one thing I was hoping to see more of was spending more time with God. In the many articles I read, the Western definition of inner peace has more to do with less violence whereas non-Western philosophy through various ancient languages creates more vision of self-realization. The problem for me is that like “flower essence,” I don’t have time to learn ancient languages. I have a Bible that has everything I need included in its pages to help me slow my roll and calm myself down.

I will use some of the things I have learned and toss the things that don’t apply to me. Meditating on clearing my mind while sitting in a field of yellow tulips sounds lovely. Admitting my own faults and working to correct them will always apply. I will find the people who will be honest with me (my husband will not be included for his own good). I have a lot of forgiving to do; true forgiveness, not just topical. And although I feel as though I practice being grateful, I admit there is always room to grow.

One of my all-time favorite words comes from the movie “Anger Management.” That word is “Goosfraba” and it is used as a reminder to calm down. It’s one of our favorite words. So let’s all say it together: Goosfraba! And there you have it. This will be the mantra for my journey to finding inner peace.

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